...so so bored. Of my life. Of my friends. Of so many things.
To sum up 2010:
- I graduated from med school, valedictorian. Pretty cool.
- I still love my job and would not do anything else (well. Matthew Morrison sex slave probably. But that's another matter. lol.)
- I went to NYC- finally- and fell in love with it more than I thought humanly possible.
- I have lost a lot of weight- not wanted, was pretty slim to begin with, just stress- and am now pretty skinny- nice way, not unhealthy one lol.
- My love life went pretty much down the drain, and I closed the year single. And started 2011 single. And I hate hate HATE that. Not because you "have" to have a boyfriend to be happy. But because I've been feeling lonely and I've been thinking a lot about my friends, who are amazing but are also all older than me by at least 5-6 years and... well let me tell you, you can tell. They're not married or anything like that, but sometimes I'd want to just go out, dance, have a couple extra drinks, be silly, sing at a random karaoke place or whatever. And they're more like "let's have a quiet nice dinner at home". Which is fine by me (heck, welcomed by me) 90% of the time. But then I add up frustration and get to the point where if I'm offered another "quiet night" I might start screaming or kick something. So, after spending 3 days around NYE with my friends and realizing our differences, I've resolved in not seeing them for a couple of weeks, helped also by a light flu (that in other situations I'd have happily ignored).
I think the main reason why I'm hating being single right now is my friends' behavior. If they were the same goofyballs I started seeing such a long time ago, I wouldn't mind. But now some of them are coupled up, and all of them are boring, and I really miss that "couples" life I used to have, when you are with someone and the two of you are enough.
I don't know. I'm afraid I'll never find a new group of friends unless I move away, and I mean really away, not like now that I live in Turin during the week and come back at my parents' in the weekends, because this way I end up every weekend with my same old friends. And don't get me wrong, I love them, I've known them for a long time, some of them since I was 11, and I value their friendship a lot. I just feel like I need to expand my friends a little bit, so that if I get too weary of them- at least for a while, not forever- I have some other people to turn to, instead of writing a lj entry on a Saturday night- and to me, Sat night is sacred, I always go out, rain or shine.
I know I've already said it, and it doesn't really change if I write it again, but I really wish I had a boyfriend right now. :(
...Twitter is a weird beast. And if you're not really careful, it'll eat you alive. You create weird bonds with people you don't even know but get to know your day-to-day routine, minute-to-minute, depending on how bored you are. And obviously you start talking to these people, who you'd never ever meet otherwise, and that's pretty extraordinary in itself, but it can also be dangerous. Weird mechanics are born, and you realize you wonder how your "friends" are doing and haven't talked to your real friends in 2 days, and then someone says, or better, tweets something that somehow irks you and you just get upset. You get upset
for something said by someone you don't even know and will likely never meet- or meet once in your life very briefly.
And that's when the rational part in me kicks in. And I start wondering what the heck am I doing losing my time with tweets when I have so many things to do, work, study, gym, friends, fun.
And also, that's when I decide to take a step back. Because I have enough drama queens in my real life, and can't be bothered with online ones. And can't really become one myself.
...maybe I'm not meant to be with someone. Maybe I'm just meant to be on my own, and do all the great things I'm planning to do with my life- become a supergreat doctor, move to the US, travel all around the world. Maybe that's too much for one person to take or handle. maybe some people just don't have their other half, maybe they're whole on their own, or maybe they're meant to be half, so they can understand other people better, listen to them, be someone's "half" for a little while and then move on.
maybe that's all true and all right.
All I know is I'd like to be meant to be with someone. Because though I pretend to be strong and independent and the world is my oyster and all that jazz, sometimes I just want someone to hold me and tell me he loves me and it's gonna be alright.
- Music:Bruno Mars - Just the way you are
New York welcomes us with turbulences in the sky. The air crew warns us, it's normal, New York skies are like that. Agitated. Or excited. Or maybe just plain pissed off. We'll never know. The plane swings and jumps, some passengers complain and others feel sick. I can't seem to notice or care as soon as I catch the first glimpse of the Manhattan skyline. It's there. It exists. For real.
We get off the plane and are captured by a huge black man, who goes by the name of Mr Chris, and yep, he's an illegal cab driver. And we know he is and we should just wait for one of the yellow cabs to take us but we decide to trust him and his huge SUV with black windows and his hip-hop music, and suddenly we're in a US stereotype, or is it a scene from a movie? All I know is I can hardly breathe when we pass the Queensboro bridge and we enter Manhattan officially. We drive through narrow streets beside yellow cabs, and by the time the first green peeks of Central Park appear in front of us, it's pouring heavily. Manhattan welcomes us like that, grey, gloomy and rainy, and we brave the weather and explore Times Square and Fifth Avenue, soaked through, and you get the feeling the city is there not to welcome you, but to tolerate you for as long as you'll want to stay, she'll never embrace you with open arms, but since you're here, you might as well have fun. That's the main feeling I get throughout the days, as I walk- or float?- through the streets and parks and islands, as I spend whole hours just staring at people passing by, just because I can. The city that never sleeps, and never wants to, is a harsh one, and you're gonna have to make your way through it, no way it's gonna help you along, but there's people here, who smile just because you're passing by, and then you go see a night screening of Manhattan by Woody Allen in Central Park, hello stereotypes, and you hear people awwwwwing and you hear them clapping, actually clapping and cheering, when the movie shows aerial views of their city, and there it is, why you can't help but love Manhattan with all your heart, and why I can't possibly imagine myself living anywhere else in the- hopefully near- future. Because Manhattan is hard, and unwelcoming, and huge, and you feel lost, but then you walk by Times Suqare and there it is, the center of the world, and you understand there's stuff happening here, and you're a small part of it by just being here, and you can't help but feel your heart swell with pride and joy and love.
New York, I love you.
I went to watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince last night, and I was seriously excited, I had even booked the tickets in advance to have the best possible seats. But I have to say, I was really disappointed. Not in the seats- they were indeed great, but in at least half on the movie itself. I know a 600-pages book is hard to fit in a movie, even if 3 hours long, but I really feel like they've left stuff out and dealt badly with other stuff they decided to keep.
First of all, we see Harry at a diner in a train station, thinking of hitting on the waitress. What the hell?? Harry is always described as really shy when it comes to girls, he did a mess with Cho, and the only time he got the guts to express his feelings was when he kissed Ginny. And then he sees Dumbledore at the station, he's come to pick him up without any warning, as if Harry were a postal package. And anyone who's read the books knows how Dumbledore's always been very careful that Harry was informed on what was going to happen. In the movie, after they go to Slughorn Dumbledore casually mentions he's not going back to the Dursleys but at the Burrow. Gah. Plus I honestly think in the time they showed them at the station they could have fitted a nice short scene with the Dursleys, it'd have been hilarious, in the book it's a great scene.
Then Harry gets at the Burrow, and of course no one knows he's coming, Ginny just casually sees Hedwig and figures out he's there. Because of course that's how Dumbledore would do it, especially in a time of war as the one book 6 is set. Just drop casually Harry over there. And they don't even mention the profecy!!! Book 5 ended with Harry listening to it but not sharing it with Ron and Hermione, and in book 6 Dumbledore tells him to share its contents with them. They don't mention it once. Like Sirius' death as well. He's dead and that's it, Harry doesn't even remember Sirius. Wtf???
And the Diagon Alley scene- the Weasleys Wizard Wheezes scene was great I have to say- of course Harry, Ron and Hermione are wandering around randomly alone. Because that's exactly how it's done in warfare, sure. No Invisibility Cloak or anything. Plus, they got it all wrong with Malfoy!!! In the book he goes to Borgins & Burkes alone, ditching his mom somehow. Instead in the movie it was not only Draco and Mommy, but all the death eaters, and it looked like they were giving him the Dark Mark or something. And that's just plain wrong, I hated it.
Even the scene on the Hogwarts Express bothered me, Harry used the powder to get darkness, but I didn't like it. Just like I didn't like Luna finding him, I know she's a nice, funny character but I love Tonks so much and I really missed her.
The thing that really bothered me, like, a lot, was the way they handled Dumbledore's lessons to Harry and the way Harry behaved with Slughorn. In the book it's so funny to see Harry avoiding Slug's dinners with any excuse, he even schedies Quidditch practice on the exact same nights. In the movie, instead, Harry is sucking Slug up so muchI was afraid he'd become a cristallized pineapple himself. That's not like Harry at all. And my friends who hadn't read the book were all like "Wow, Harry's become an insufferable brown-nosing guy, I hate him" and that drove me mad 'cos that's the exact opposite.
And when Dumbledore was showing Harry the memories, he tells Harry everything. While in the book he wants Harry to understand it on his own, doesn't give away the solution like that. I know it's because of time issues but I didn't like it.
And then, suddenly, the Burrow is on fire. Sure, 'cos Bella would do that exactly, piss Voldemort off by wandering around destroying everything, with the risk of being caught. Plus, why?? Why destroy the Burrow, when it wasn't in the book? There's already enough violence and injured and dead people as it is, no need to add it just because it's spectacular. In the time they showed that useless scene, with Harry running around randomly, they could have shown another memory, they showed just 2 of them all and didn't even explain everything. They didn't say the Horcruxes were important objects to Voldemort, even at the end, when Harry got the fake one, they didn't explain what it was supposed to be, the story of the 4 foundators of Hogwarts. Gah.
I have to say, I really liked the scene of Harry and Dumbledore in the cave, it was spectacular and scary just like I imagined it to be. Of course they didn't explain what Inferi were, but they were really scary to me so that's ok.
I read around about Harry/Ginny fans being upset with this movie, and now I understand why. I've never been a supporter but I really feel they've been treated badly. The kiss was... normal. It wasn't in the moment of triumph after winning the Quidditch Cup, it wasn't Harry kissing her, but they were randomly in the Room of Necessities and she kissed him. Which is exactly the opposite of what the kiss is about, in the book it feels like Harry has finally grown, after Cho's disaster and he's ready to take a step forward. Instead he stayed there with his eyes closed, like a schoolboy, and she kissed him. And then they randomly mention it later when Hermione says "As long as you don't snog in public, Ron's cool with that". Just like that. Even the moment when Hermione was crying because of Ron and Lavender, there was something that bothered me: she and Harry were discussing their relationships openly, she asked him how he felt about Ginny, openly admitting she liked Ron. Which is something that in truth happens at the end of book 7.
One think I liked was Dumbledore's death. It was well done, scary and moving, and I loved Draco's troubles and his pain. But at the end, when Snape tells him he's the Half Blood Prince, there are no explanations. Just, I am that. Period. No explanations on why half-blood, or even a mention to the fact that Prince was his mom's last name.
And then, why, WHY do you have to show Draco's attempts with the vanishing cabinet 10 minutes after the beginning of the movie?? And why should Mr Weasley suspect of a Vanishing Cabinet? If he did suspect it, wouldn't he say it to Dulbledore at once? Come on, that's totally out of the blue.
So, once again, the movie was great as in special effects and in the mood it sets, and I really like the actors, especially Emma Watson, I think she's a great Hermione (the Potions scene with her hair bushier at every scene was hilarious). And I understand that this is a movie adaptation of a book, it doesn't have to be exactly the same.
But I really feel like they haven't done justice to the movie and left out too many important moments, to focus on other stuff but with a wrong angle. I'm sorry to say this because I really love the saga but I'm not happy with what I've seen.
"I tried very hard to soften it, I suppose ... Just because someone had a view on Harry/Hermione didn't mean they weren't genuine, or that they were necessarily misguided. In fact, I will say this, Steve Kloves who has been the script writer, who is enormously insightful on the series and a very good friend, after he read book seven he said to me, 'You, know, I thought something was going to happen between Harry and Hermione, and I didn't know whether I wanted it or not.' He [Kloves] felt a certain pulll between them at that point. And I think he's right. There are moments when Harry and Hermione touch, which are charged moments. One when she touches his hair as he sits on the hiltop reading about Dumbledore and Grindelwald, and another when they walk out of the graveyard with their arms around eachother.
Now the fact is that Hermione shares moments with Harry that Ron will never be able to participate in. He walked out. She shared something very instense with Harry.
So I think it could have gone that way."
- J.K. Rowling
(Ash please don't hate me. lol.)
I've decided to go Friends Only- I write some pretty personal stuff from time to time and I don't really wanna random people to read it.
Any post related to Scrubs, House or any other show, and to Obama will remain public.
New Hampshire, Jan 8th 2008
"[...] Democrats, independents and Republicans who are tired of the division and distraction that has clouded Washington, who know that we can disagree without being disagreeable
, who understand that, if we mobilize our voices to challenge the money and influence that stood in our way and challenge ourselves to reach for something better, there is no problem we cannot solve
, there is no destiny that we cannot fulfill
.[...] We can bring doctors and patients, workers and businesses, Democrats and Republicans together, and we can tell the drug and insurance industry that, while they get a seat at the table, they don't get to buy every chair, not this time, not now
. [...] We can stop sending our children to schools with corridors of shame and start putting them on a pathway to success
. We can stop talking about how great teachers are and start rewarding them for their greatness
by giving them more pay and more support. We can do this with our new majority. [...] For when we have faced down impossible odds, when we've been told we're not ready or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.
Yes, we can. Yes, we can. [...] And, together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story
, with three words that will ring from coast to coast, from sea to shining sea: Yes, we can."
Jan 20th 2009, Barack Obama is the new President of the United States. Good luck to you. May your and our hopes and dreams be fulfilled together.